@ForgottenDawn - @Aalasteir (Q) - Index
Q: What do you think about the Internet? And how would you describe your experiences?
The Internet is such a bizarre entity. It's still wild to wrap my head around how much things have changed in just 20 years. I still think of it as a technological miracle, and the idealist in me sees a lot of good from connecting with folks from all over the globe in real time. Having that commodity is certainly nice and it's generally fine so long as I don't center my entire life around it. Mindfulness is key, in that sense.
I believe that the Internet at large has lost some personality as the years went by. Indies have been trying to revive those "wild west" early Internet glory days through Neocities and blogs, in part as a reaction to the rampant homogenization and corporate takeover of the mainstream Internet. I don't know if it's just 2000's nostalgia mixed with modern-day escapism, but the fact that quiet punk-like counter-tendencies exist somewhere is, I think, pretty neat and encouraging.
I would say that my personal experiences with the Internet have been a mixed bag. I've been able to build a discreet presence through my music for which I'm thankful, and take part in various audio and game development-related activities. I try to stay grounded and avoid getting sucked into the social media vortex and ever-changing algorithm games. I prefer to focus on productivity and spend the rest of my time privately.
Q: On your current account, you’ve been on Newgrounds for 12 years now, 16 if you add your previous account. How do you think Newgrounds has shaped you? What do you think about the community? In what ways do you think Newgrounds has changed?
Discovering Newgrounds in the golden age of Flash was incredible, and the ability to freely upload my own audio blew my mind when I first started composing. The Audio Portal still remains a great hub for people like me. I've had the privilege of connecting with some incredibly talented artists and it's always a pleasure to see them thrive and exchange ideas. Contests, collaborations, challenges... You love to see the activity. Growing together as artists and as people is easily one of the best perks of being a community veteran.
I think that Newgrounds, while still maintaining an old Internet ethos, evolved into an overall nicer and more inclusive community. I think that gradually distancing itself from some of its edgier past and maintaining its independence from large corporate interests cemented itself as a reliable community-oriented hub for hobbyists, aspiring and professional creatives. Time will tell if this sentiment will age gracefully in the future.
Q: How did you become interested in writing introspective fiction that revolves around feelings of melancholy, yearning, and loss?
There are aspects of my process that I indubitably consider therapeutic. I write and compose primarily for myself and my own creative and artistic needs. I remember feeling intimidated at first, because I had trouble opening up publicly. Art that focuses on deeply personal subject matters is always going to meet some resistance by the general public. I persisted, however, and I now feel glad that my original projects collectively constitute a healing space for me, as well as a dumping ground for venting some creative ideas and thoughts.
Q: How did you develop an interest in tackling sad emotions through your creations?
I believe that there's beauty in giving sadness a voice. We can't always paint flowers or write happy endings. There are times when we have to face some dark thoughts in order to grow. When done right, the results can feel comforting and authentic. I often entertain the idea of providing a tonal gradient to thoughtful melancholia.
I think that before I even discovered my musical inclinations, my primary desire was to retreat into a quiet space. Learning about Ambient music was my way of accessing that introspective, self-analytical head space. I consider "Lost" my first proper turning point towards this noisy and textural style that I now feel comfortable integrating into my music. It was both a happy accident and a culmination of thoughts I had matured up to that moment. That aesthetic then gradually bloomed into my ongoing "Isolation Moods" and "Lo-Fi Rooms" original series.
Q: How did you get interested in music?
I'm thankful that music was always around the house in some form or another growing up and I was encouraged by my immediate family members to keep pursuing my hobbies. I was exposed to all sorts of mainstream genres ranging from classical music, jazz, soul, new age, alternative rock, and electronica from an early age. With my mom being a retired music teacher and a classically-trained pianist, absorbing some of that world by osmosis was inevitable, even though my learning process was never forceful.
I had aspirations of producing my own music even as a young kid, but I started dipping my feet in my first DAW at the age of 16. Most of my musical imprint comes from the 90's and early 00's. From then on, I would try to integrate my discoveries into my music.
Q: What’s your process for creating a song?
The initial spark is never the same. Sometimes it's a spontaneous process while other times a motif or more complex musical ideas linger in my head for as long as I pull the trigger and start jamming to see how it all meshes together. I tend to center my pieces around a core feeling or mental image, then build upon it.
As a chronic overthinker, I often have to remind myself to block some of my rational thoughts and get straight to the point. This is crucial for me or else I start losing track of what I want to express, get frustrated, and never touch the project again. Restarting projects from scratch isn't all too uncommon to me. I just want to get the feeling right.
I'm also rather reductionist in my approach to instrumentation. I generally employ few channels and few layers; just the right amount. My ambiances tend to be melodically simple, too. I'm a big fan of squeezing as much nuance and flavor as I can with relatively little.
I have accrued a solid collection of virtual libraries, synthesizers, and samples over the years. I deliberately include static noise, field recordings, and shortwave radio clips in my audio. I like to remix my own past tracks, too, sometimes. It's the sonic equivalent of throwing things into a blender to see what happens.
In retrospect, I think that technical limitations helped fuel this production style. I've never owned particularly powerful machines, so I tend to be wary of my RAM usage and polyphony. I could have a NASA-tier computer and still end up using less than a dozen mixer channels. It's one of the reasons I don't use templates. I like building tracks from the ground up.
Inspiration also comes from all kinds of sources. A detail in the scenery, a memory, a painting, a walk outside, a quote from a book I've just read, a conversation, a past connection, a video game. You name it.
Q: What, in your opinion, makes a good song?
I tend to be moved by the music before any lyrical content. My favorite pieces are often instrumental or tied to another piece of media, like a video game, a film, or an anime. Since I don't feel like my tastes are bound by genre, I will just say that I'm generally more drawn by the emotional impact of a song and its atmosphere than a catchy hook or groove. This is just me, though.
Q: Why is doom metal your favorite subgenre of metal? (e.g., Black Sabbath, Warning, Draconian, Evoken)
My relationship with Metal has always felt unique to me because it's been entirely my own personal discovery. It just wasn't a thing at home, growing up, and even back in high school very few people really knew what I was talking about.
Doom Metal is one of those subgenres that can feel absolutely soul-crushing, and that's precisely why I love it. Certain bands' ability to turn some of our darkest emotions into something so raw, yet skillful and ornate is inspiring to me. Maybe its relatively niche, underground status contributes to its appeal, at least in my mind.
Q: What makes good slow, atmospheric music?
I think that a good ambiance is the glue that binds everything together. You don't always pay attention to it, but that's also its strength. There's definitely a craft to it. It's not just about slowing pieces and adding reverb. Sometimes all you need is a few elements that work especially well together and make sure that the storytelling is coherent to the emotion or feeling you're trying to express.
Q: How did you become a cat person?
Cats are cool. I've had them since my formative years, and I've always liked their quiet and somewhat aloof demeanor. They can be very affectionate when treated well and with dignity. Plus, they are fluffy and friend-shaped killing machines.
Q: What are your thoughts on food?
I'm admittedly picky when it comes to food, though I've gotten better over the years. I play it safe most of the time. I still feel a little more adventurous trying new drinks and snacks than actual meals.
Q: What are your favorite chocolates?
I've been experimenting with dark chocolate lately. I've tried between 90 and 100%. I thought I wouldn't enjoy such a bitter taste, but I proved myself wrong. I actually found it rather pleasant. 70-85% might be the sweet spot for me. I'm looking forward to trying some spicy bars.
Q: What makes good game development?
I'm still testing the waters on the game dev side, both on my own and with collaborators. I don't know if I can give you a good definite answer, but I'll try.
Suffice to say, game development is stressful even in the best possible workplace. In a team setting, good communication and availability are fundamental qualities. Lay aside your ego, don't push, don't arm wrestle for creative control, and just be curious, open to learn, and patient. You don't always have to micromanage everything yourself.
It's easier said than done and I haven't been the greatest example at times, but embracing the chaos and finding out what works best for you is also part of the experience. As a solo developer, I think that time and resource management are as crucial as knowing your strengths while keeping in mind that burnout always lurks around the corner. Also, crunching sucks.
Q: What is your creative advice?
Turn your brain off and create what YOU want. Don't take shit from anyone. You already have the solution at hand. I believe in you.
Q: Why do you like to find really weird, experimental, and abstract pieces of media?
I think they're a goldmine of really interesting creative ideas. I see many indie games taking risks that very few AAAs are willing to tackle nowadays, and I think that's a shame. There's a lot to learn from indies and their personal auteurship. If a game makes you go "Hey, I didn't think this was possible", then that title succeeded as an art piece, even if the results are at times straight-up humorous. This isn't just limited to weird, liminal museum walks, but also those indie games that are willing to push the boundaries and introduce something innovative. It's just a fascinating world and we should have more conversations about it.
Q: What makes a good exploration game?
I'm a sucker for exploration in video games. I love feeling like a tourist. My first playthrough in most video games is to take my time, explore my surroundings at my own pace, talk to everyone, appreciate the art and music, and take it all in before proceeding with the main quest. I'm basically an anti-speedrunner. My ideal game would be about pure exploration. Maybe sprinkle in some secrets, mysteries, and lore, but at the end of the day, I just like strolling around and save the rest for later. I'm mostly in for the game feel. Just give me a good world to explore, add a great soundtrack, and boom. Instant classic.
Q: What video games and video game music do you like, and why?
Dark Chronicle (Dark Cloud 2) and Final Fantasy XII are some of my all-time favorites. I also grew up with classic racing games like Need for Speed and Gran Turismo, and first-person shooters like Quake, Unreal Tournament and Half-Life. I tend to enjoy a good rally game every now and again. The Playstation 2 accompanied my childhood and teenage years, and it still remains one of my favorite gaming eras ever. The walking sim fan in me also enjoys shamelessly gushing over The Stanley Parable and The Beginner's Guide. I've also spent an ungodly amount of hours on The Binding of Isaac.
As for soundtracks, while I could easily spend days listing every single game franchise I enjoyed growing up, I can tell you what game scores influenced me the most stylistically. Tekken 4 is still one of my favorite games in terms of atmosphere and glitchy/distorted techno. David Bergeaud's work in the original Ratchet & Clank games is absolutely pristine when it comes to meshing whimsical electronica with bombastic cinematics. Akira Yamaoka's industrial-laden atmospheres in Silent Hill 2 and 3 are revelatory for their time, and finally, Norihiko Hibino's stealthy, jazz fusion-inspired breaks in Metal Gear Solid 2 are a definitive classic to my ears. Honorable mentions include Jesper Kyd, Austin Wintory, David Wise, Grant Kirkhope, Tim Follin, Nobuo Uematsu, Masashi Hamauzu, Yasunori Mitsuda, Vincent Diamante, and many, many more for their inspiring work.
While I'm at it, some VGM Ambient recommendations:
- Kairo soundtrack, made by Wounds
- Antichamber soundtrack, by Siddhartha Barnhoorn
- Yume Nikki soundtrack, by Kikiyama, including fangames
Q: Your advice on what makes a good life
Good sleep, trustworthy bonds, cats, enough money for rent, groceries and healthcare, empathy. Enjoy.